my thoughts on retirement




now that i am officially retiring at the end of 2006, i like to share my thoughts on it. i had contemplated my retirement for sometime and came to a decision in august. i handed in my letter to apply for optional retirement after the teacher's day rally.

i am actually ambivalent about the whole thing. on the one hand, i will relish the sense of freedom. i can get up when i want to and choose how to spend the days. i can take the time to do the things i want to, instead of rushing from one demand to another. with retirement, the locus of control comes back to myself and i will no longer be driven from outside.

on the other hand, there will also be this sense of loss. i may feel disconnected and may experience this lack of purposefulness. when you have worked together with a group of people, sharing the same anguish, anxiety and frustrations, you end up having a common purpose in what you are doing. being removed from this situation may mean you do not feel connected and that can lead to feeling of loneliness.

nevertheless, i have to moved on. i must see life as a continuous journey with never ending opportunities for me to learn, give and grow. i do not have a definite plan at the moment but i do not see myself shaking legs at home and wasting my time away.

each time i am congratulated on my retirement, i feel strange. i am being congratulated for not having a job anymore and for no longer receiving a pay check each month.

i could have chosen to plod on for another two years, till i reach the standard retirement age of 60 but i think that will be detrimental to my mental health. i want to retire when i am still physically and mentally fit and i can take care of myself.